Absolute newbie seeking feedback and advice. Simple d12 based game to be adapted to different settings

#1

Hi all! I have written a playable prototype for a TTRPG but I’m struggling with having anyone take a look at it. My friends and family aren’t into TTRPGs and any acquaintances who happen to be just don’t have time for an unfinished game.

The prototype is available to download free on Itch but I’ve made several changes to the text in the last few weeks.

The live manuscript can be seen on Google Docs if you want to see the latest version. 14,441 words last time I checked.

Some more about me and my game.

  • I’m a dude (he/him) in my 40s who started playing TTRPGs in my 30s.
  • I started working on the game out of my frustrations with other game systems.
  • It started as a mod for a popular game (bonus points if you can guess which), but I eventually swapped out everything with custom mechanics.
  • I’m extremely shy.
  • I’m just trying to do what I see in other books, but I don’t know anything about layouts or anything. Seriously, any advice or feedback is welcome!
  • The game started out as generic setting-less, then I decided to make it fantasy but hit a creativity wall, then decided to make it Cyberpunk and work on the fantasy version once the mechanics were tested.
  • I Still don’t know how much of a setting I want the game to have baked in, and how much should be up to the player. I’ve heard this referred to as the goldilocks zone.
  • I feel if my game were more polished and presentable, I could easily find playtesters and collaborators in local communities, in the meantime I’m reaching out to game design enthusiasts on the interwebs.
  • The typical response I get when I ask anyone for help is “I’d be glad to, just don’t expect me to read anything.”
  • One of the core design philosophies is to have dice mechanics that are easy to read, with math that can be done by counting fingers, and odds that are somewhat reliable.
  • I’m not even sure I’m doing this right. Please let me know if I should edit or delete the post.
  • I know the forums are going away in a couple days but Discord really stresses me out.

Just by reading this post you have done more for my game than any of my friends, and I appreciate it.

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#2

You can join the Open Hearth Patreon, get an invite to their Slack community, participate in a game facilitator camp, and start running games. Lots folks there are game designers, and they can give you valuable feedback. At least, that’s what I did, and I’ve found it very rewarding.

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#3

Ah yes, thanks for the heads up. Most of the information I have from this community is outdated, I guess because a lot has changed and continued to change.

I wonder if there are communities out there that are more about design collaboration.

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#4

How are you going to release the game? Via a HTML document? Because you got linked text in your google document.

Honestly, this below is enough for me, together with a few pointers in how to think to get into the right mood and an insinuated world through the mechanics, adventure creating and images:

The rules in these pages are meant to aid a group of players to inhabit the world of Akira, Cyberpunk 2077, Æon Flux, RoboCop, Blade Runner, and many other works of fiction.

What made you frustrated?

You need clearer goals - when is it more polished and presentable? I’ve read the first two pages, and they are well written, from what I can tell. When it comes to graphic design, I’ve written a short manual. You basically only need the first page, but the GDoc looks already better than most other amateur works (and some “professional” American games).

I’m over at Cauldron nowadays.

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#5

Thanks for responding. Being asked questions is awesome!

Ideally the game would be screen friendly. The prototype on itch is HTML. I still think I should do PDF because that’s what people are used to.

I guess I do have a vision, but I’m still concerned about how to fine tune it. Maybe I shouldn’t stress too much about that.

Ah, well, back when I started I didn’t have much TTRPG experience. I had only played D&D 3.5, Pathfinder and Savage Worlds. But from both games I noticed that players would always end up overlooking all but the simplest mechanics. So, I set out to make a game without resource management (because no one cares about how many arrows anyone has, and no one is subtracting the cost of their meals from their sheet) and that defaults to theater of the mind (becase everyone kept guesstimating the range of attacks, and also because tables were never large enough to lay down a battlefield where ranged combat mattered, anyway).

As part of my journey, I have read about the near infinite number of games out there, and how so many of them check most of those boxes. Still haven’t found one that does it all, but even if I did, I’m having fun.

Also, I just think d12s are neat.

More specifically, I think I need to figure out layout, and get lots of flashy art. No one (it feels like) wants to look at a block of text (even potental playtesters). But I think I need to make sure the game text is solid before I invest in such things.

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#6

Yeah, I trudged the same path. I learned a lot from the first game I published. I think it’s good to release a game as soon as possible, just to get it out of the way, and learn from that experience. So switching setting could be a good thing, if it’s a fantasy game that you really want to make.

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#7

I am a big fan of d12s! What my friend calls “the loneliest die.”

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#8

I know this is getting off track, but I just wanted to chime in that I am also a fan of d12s, and in particular I’m a fan of some d12s of @HecticElectron’s with raccoons on them. :smile:

#9

After reading your game, here are some suggested reading material:

InSpectres - the game presents a structure of play: Getting the Call -> Acquire Knowledge -> Suiting Up -> Fieldwork --> Cleaning Up.

Feng Shui - a different way of thinking of a combat system. I think it was the first game with “goons”. The dice system itself is … clunky, but if you read between the lines, there are a lot of smart mechanics on the side. Take special notice in how Robin D Laws turns “game master advice” into “game mechanics”. “The map is not your friend” is something I use for all my games.

Both these games were light bulb moments for me as a game designer.

#10

I also read Lancer does asl similar thing, also under a structure of play section. I already had a loadout scene written, so now all I have to do is add what happens before and after. I’m pretty excited.

Sounds neat! I’ll try to find a copy today. I really don’t want my combat to end up being Blades in the Dark but with d12s.

When I switch to fantasy it’s going to be a lot more combat focused as JRPGs have always been one of my greatest inspirations.

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