Codex - Glamour 2 Miscellany

#1

Hey Gauntleteers, it’s time to crowdsource the miscellany for Codex - Glamour 2. This miscellany is called “Three Dozen Dangerous Fashion Fads.” Submissions need to be a single sentence, or 2-3 short sentences. By submitting here, you’re agreeing to let us use it (you’ll get a credit on the issue). We’re looking for evocative things; the purpose of the miscellany is to inspire the reader.

Here are some examples:

“The drab Mourning Beetle’s carapace is the key ingredient in a wildly popular shade of iridescent blue. The preparation method is a fiercely guarded secret, but some imitators’ products are nearly identical, albeit with much higher chance of toxicity when exposed to sunlight.”

“Some of the most outlandish of the Court have taken to sewing bits of iron onto their finery. Whether to show a contempt for death or their power in the face of its effects, who can say?”

“Reflective clothing and makeup are not only striking but unparalleled in thwarting passive surveillance technology. Rumors of people going further and using theirs to focus light into heat rays are almost certainly scaremongering gossip.”

P.S. If you want to be credited as something other than the name on your forum profile, let me know! DMs here or on Slack (@ryanm) are fine for that, but please keep submissions in this thread.

4 Likes
#2

There’s a orange-and-black pattern of makeup that invariably causes facial recognition devices to glitch out—it’s been outlawed and those who are brought in for wearing always seem to get the roughest treatment from the cops. But if you can convince the whole crowd of protesters to wear it, what a statement you’ll make! They can’t arrest all of you, right?

This season’s hottest high-society accessory: a live, albino stoat, carried in a handbag! Coincidentally, veterinarians are issuing warnings about a virulent new strain of Mustelid Flu…

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#3

Young adults across the globe have started suturing their lips against their faces. When reached for comment, the originator of the fad was quoted saying…

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#4

There is no emoji that can adequately express the face I made when I read this :scream:

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#5

Well-rested River apologizes for the terrible mental images that tried River generated

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#7

Mycelian Grass from the oceans of Mora is very much like human hair in texture and feel, but it comes in a variant of vibrant colours. So now there are wigs, hair extensions, fake beards and even chest hair made from it, and the slightly higher incidence of paranoia and hallucinations occuring in the wearers of those products surely is nothing but a statistical glitch.

Printing out the best insults from Twitter and having them ironed onto t-shirts was supposed to be a funny little fad, but this is what started out the university riots in the Northeast.

The Witches of Gonbar punish the criminals in their demesne by giving them the ears of donkeys, rabbits or other animals. They did not foresee that this would become a fashion statement in the neighboring state of Chlar and now have to deal with foolish fops trampling across their land, committing minor infractions of the law and demanding “cat ears” or “lion ears”.

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#8

It’s widely agreed that the odious Duke Felchington was the first nobleman to decorate his codpiece with an actual, functional blade as opposed to the horn-like protuberances and baroque spikes that have increasingly become the fashion among his universally-loathed coterie of oafish young aristocratic second sons.

The rapid evolution of AI DermaPets has resulted in an unforeseen complication. When pets whose historical ancestors were adverserial (predator/prey, alpha male pairs, etc) come into close enough proximity, the mechanized implants exhibit behavior outside their programmed parameters. Thus far, no one has been hurt, and the SkinPets magacorp has issued a brand-wide recall. Any DermaPets implantees should immediately report for removal of the malfunctioning accessories.

The septugenarian Lady Terwilliker was the first of the Debutantes Eternal to be found dead at the end of a ball after no one realized she had passed. The current rage for ‘architectural accouterment’ of course meant that she remained standing thanks to her foundational skirts, and her mirrored mask merely reflected other ball-goers’ looks of concern back at them. We’ve assigned servants to keep a closer eye on the other ladies.

6 Likes
#9

Entwining the quills of the desert porcupine into the hair of a loved one is a sign of truest devotion among the rebellious youth. The neurotoxin that paralyzes the lungs is seen as a way to represent “the one who takes your breath away”

While popular among the nobility for avoiding assassination, steel neck sleeves has contributed to a rise in deaths due to asphyxiation & constrained blood flow

The Panku of Gentu 7 believe that the cold environment helps fortify their constitution, and that the length of an icicle on one’s features is proof of their virility. Some daring individuals even splash copious amounts of liquid on their face, before stepping out into a chilly average temperature of -47C

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#10

Stiltettos are among the more ludicrous fashion accessories this season. Boots that lace past the knee, with platform heels a metre or more in height. As the elevation arms race advances apace, the fashion pages have reported the first stiltetto-related death - from a broken neck.

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#11

Toon lenses are crafted to make the wearer’s eyes appear enormous. Devotees sacrifice a great deal of visual acuity, resulting in several cases of mistaken identity and more than one bad fall.

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#12

The Yardstick™ brand and the style named for it enjoyed a brief but intense popularity. The spike-heeled flipflops caused many sprained ankles, and the brilliantly glowing underwear inflicted chemical burns, but the most common injury was to the wearer’s pride. Only the extremely attractive could look good in Yardstick; everyone else looked utterly ridiculous.

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#13

The young claim fashion itself is an act of protest, so of course the styles of past protests make for great fashion. Now an entire generation rails against the evils of the past… how will they fight when they learn the injustices of the present?

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#14

Laserwear produces dazzling light displays, often programmed into animated patterns and keyed to the mood of the wearer. They do carry a risk of temporary blindness so that savvy onlookers tend to avert their gaze.

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#15

The third eye plague decimated the population, but now that survivors as the crown prince are seen wearing the third eye with pride, some people can’t stop trying to get sick.

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#16

The Beehive is back in vogue, as the cause of the local apiary is now the cause d’celebrity after Madam Maddy showed off at the CET Art Gala! Now everyone’s caught the buzz, and emergency rooms have caught the brunt of the allergic reaction cases.

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#17

The gentlefolk of the Merchant Array tinkle like teacups, their backs upright, their lips stiff, their cheeks laquered and luminous.The effect is achieved primarily through mirrors silvered in tincture of gorgon’s hair, though more than one noble is known to carry a living eye, clouded by seaglass and shuttered in silver. Beauty so statuesque renders one quite constrained and fragile, but for those eager to demonstrate they can pay their lessers to manage such earthly concerns as movement, that’s rather the point.

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#18

SpaceFeet’s new uniforms had been issued for barely a year before being replaced with the previous version. While initially hailed as highly functional, the one-piece desgin was universally derided by those forced to wear them as “terribly uncomfortable, expecially while sitting at a control station.” The final straw was the near-loss of the USS Li Jing when the helmsman accidentally bumped the inertial controls during high-speed maneuvers while adjusting his pants.

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#19

WASHINGTON DC—The FDA has issued an involuntary recall of Moonlight Cosmetics’ popular fragrance Nightmusk™. In a written response to the recall order, the make-up giant states, “While we send our condolences to the victims, we are certain that the courts will find no causal relationship between wearing Nightmusk™ and the recent increase in werewolf attacks.”

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#20

Competetion for the most lifelike funerary statues was a contributing factor in the decline of the Kingdom of Aldria. Skilled sculptors billed so much for their services, that one noble house secretly brought in a medusa to gain bragging rights… at the expense of less-loved members. As few sculptors could match such perfection, other houses came up with the same idea.

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#21

The hottest fashion amongst diplomats is wearing a small colony of mindbeetles. They are truly dazzling, creating intricate, ever-shifting patterns as they move around the wearer’s body. But they’re also a way to show off, as it takes a brilliant diplomat to get a colony to agree to work for them for even a short event. Should they decide the contract is broken midway, it’ll be a gaffe that’ll never be lived down.

3 Likes